D’Wild Wild Weng

D’Wild Wild Weng (1982): Philippines – directed by Eddie Nicart

Not rated by the MPAA – contains violence and Weng Weng

While D’Wild Wild Weng isn’t quite as fun as For Y’ur Height Only (reviewed here) it is still an enjoyable venture into Weng Weng land.  Our favorite 2’9″ butt-kicker is back, and this time he’s in the Wild West.

Well, he’s sort of in the Wild West.  There are some problems, though, such as the fact that this Wild West looks like Florida and there are way too many ninjas around.  Weng Weng is joined by Gordon (played by Max Laurel.)  They are wandering through the Wild West for some reason, on their way to Santa Monica.  I’m not sure why they are headed that direction, but they are.

It’s a good thing, too, since there are so many bad guys on the road.  Apparently there are gangs of Mexican bandits roaming the area, pillaging and raping at will.  Good thing Weng Weng (he’s called Mr. Weng in this movie) and Gordon (who is large and strong and can throw Weng Weng) are around to combat these evil forces.  They end up rescuing several damsels in distress, teaming up with a man who has no tongue, and kicking lots of Mexican bandits.

I’m not quite sure what happened with much of the plot.  One moment they are rescuing the tongue-less man’s daughter or something (it’s hard to tell since he can’t speak, but only mumble and whine like a seal,) and the next moment they get captured.  There is a bad guy, of sorts, in the form of a flamboyant Mexican gang leader.  He seems like he belongs in a Zorro movie.  He wears lots of ruffles and fancy clothes, yet still commands a lot of troops.

He’s also quite popular, I guess, since eventually he becomes the governor or something.  But Weng Weng is always trying to foil his plans (though I was never aware he had any plans.)  At one point Weng Weng gets captured and Gordon breaks him out.  They somehow get separated and we are then treated to several scenes involving Weng Weng wearing a tuxedo and rescuing more damsels.  I have no idea how it all goes together.

Also, the governor/bad guy has an ally: a ninja warrior with a small band of his own ninjas.  They go around causing trouble much like the Mexican gangsters, but they use katanas instead of rifles.  This gets them into trouble later, when they all get shot.  Anyway, I’m not sure how they fit into the plot at all.  I suppose they are just extra cannon fodder.

You see, toward the end of the movie there is need for lots of cannon fodder.  Somehow the bad guys and the good guys get involved in a standoff.  Except that Weng Weng, Gordon, and the tongue-less guy have a jeep with a Gatling gun mounted on it, and the bad guys have old timey rifles and katanas.  It is quite a sight, however, to see Weng Weng mowing down hundreds of Mexican gangsters from behind a giant machine gun.

There are some joys to be found in the movie, though most of them occur in the final scene.  There are some other gems scattered along the way, but there is also a lot of dull, boring time.  And in a movie this poorly made it’s a crime to be boring as well.  The production isn’t much different from For Y’ur Height Only, with poor directing, editing, and acting.  The dubbing is slightly more consistent this time around, with Weng Weng having a soft sultry voice much of the time and only having one or two different voices.  He is still pretty butt-kicking, which is always fun to watch.  He doesn’t romance the ladies as much this time around, which is a disappointment.  In spite of its obvious problems, if you’re looking to get your Weng Weng fix this isn’t a bad way to spend 80-some minutes, as long as you spend the time with a large group of friends.

one-and-a-half-stars

2 thoughts on “D’Wild Wild Weng

  1. Pingback: This Too Is Meaningless » Blog Archive » The Impossible Kid

  2. Jodie

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