I Know How Many Runs You Scored Last Summer

I Know How Many Runs You Scored Last Summer (2008): Australia – directed by Stacey Edmonds and Doug Turner

Not rated by the MPAA – contains profanity, violence, gore, ridiculously gratuitous nudity

Unfortunately, the title is one of the highlights of I Know How Many Runs You Scored Last Summer.  It is pretentious, trying to be self-aware of the movie’s status as a horror film, while adding a Commonwealth spin.  Plus, the title is really long, and movies with long titles (like The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!?), even though they generally suck, are sometimes worth watching because you can then say that you’ve seen a movie with a title that long.

I’m not sure I would recommend this one as a movie to watch just so you could say that.  Horror fans will find some elements to enjoy, but the general poorness of the filmmaking process, from the script to the acting, from the lighting to the score, serve to make it a terrible film.  Horror fans might appreciate the violence and gore served with an Aussie twist, but discerning or selective horror fans and everybody else will find it to be a painful viewing experience.

The film starts out as a hard-boiled serial killer thriller.  Detective Gary Chance (Jai Koutrae) is wrapped up in a series of cricket-related homicides.  You know the kind, wickets stuck down throats, cricket balls with nails through them used as weapons.  Chance is a bit of a loser, in spite of his bravado.  His ego takes a hit when Inspector Kim Reynolds (co-director Stacey Edmonds) arrives from England and takes over the case.  She has been investigating murders committed in a similar fashion in England and is afraid there is a nut on on the loose.

Of course there’s a nut on the loose; otherwise there wouldn’t be a movie.  The authorities suspect it is a member of a primary school-aged cricket team who was bullied as a youth.  Several of the other former team members have all been murdered.  The first order of business for Chance and Reynolds is to round up the remaining members of that team and secure them away.  Plus, the only one they can’t find has to be the murderer.

They proceed to squirrel away the other members of the squad on a secure compound.  They do this so that they would not have to find any more locations or sets on which to shoot the film.  It is much easier for all the action to occur at one place.  Also, it makes it easier for the killer to infiltrate the compound and ensure that he murders everyone.

I will certainly acknowledge that there are elements in this film that horror fans will appreciate.  Some of the deaths are inventive and unique, especially by American horror standards.  Cricket is relatively unknown in the New World, so that twist might have appeal for some viewers.  There is also one of the most gratuitous nude scenes I’ve ever seen, and it is very poorly done.  Miss Arianna Starr is listed in the opening credits, and again in the closing credits alongside her resume, which includes “Miss Nude Australia.”  Her entire role is to fill in for Reynold’s during a poorly cut shower sequence, in which it is painfully obvious that there are two separate actresses.

The scene, along with being technically deficient, also detracts and distracts from the rest of the film.  Not that the remainder of the film is anything to brag about.  From a technical aspect, most of it is quite poor.  The lighting is obscenely bright, making the insides of rooms look positively luminescent.  The soundtrack is intrusive and blaring, and hardly a minute goes by when there’s not some sort of metal or hard rock music disturbing the background.  Some of the story, even though one would expect it to be poor, needed more fleshing out.  The action, too, is absurd; why would you ever put fistfights in a slasher film?

I Know How Many Runs You Scored Last Summer is a terrible film, possibly even worse than the aforementioned The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!? Horror fans searching for unnecessary nudity and gore will be satisfied with certain elements, even though the film doesn’t entirely work even by horror standards.  Everyone else will be appalled at the movie, and should be sure to stay away.

One thought on “I Know How Many Runs You Scored Last Summer

  1. Pingback: Troy

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *